A fat muskrat

To be honest, this title has nothing to do with anything, but I like it anyway.

It came about because a certain comrade of mine saw a video of my corgi and asked why my dog is the size of a muskrat.

Anyway, that is totally irrelevant, but it made me laugh. Speaking of laughter, a sense of humor is one of the most underrated coping mechanisms you can ever develop. I learned this the hard way back in June 2007 when I found myself sitting alone in my little tiny starter home.

My wife (now ex-wife) and I had just bought it eleven months earlier, in July 2006. It was a small, little house in a neighborhood of geezers so it was quiet with lots of mature trees. At the time, the streets were still safe enough that I thought nothing of taking nightly walks on them.

Now, things have changed a lot since then, but it was nice, and it was ours. I had just crossed over to the Air National Guard from the active duty Air Force in May 2006, and we (foolishly) bought in July. Anyway, that year after we moved away from Texas was really rough. Not that Texas was a garden spot, but at least we had some distance from family which was kind of nice. 

On my first trip with the Guard, I did a huge circle around the Pacific, starting in Alaska, then flew to Okinawa for a week. Then we flew all the way down to Townsville, Australia for another week. Finally, we stopped for gas in Honolulu on the way home, and our jet broke. Unfortunately, my marriage broke, too. There are few things worse than getting a Dear John text from your wife when you’re far from home, even in paradise. 

That’s not the point of the story. The point of the story is maintaining a sense of humor. I had no idea how much a divorce could or would hurt, but it was devastating. Even though our relationship sucked, the idea of divorce had never entered my mind. So when it was shoved down my throat, it was awful. I know I was an emotional burden to all of my friends because it was all-consuming, but that is the nature of the beast.     

This next part is important: I found out how much laughter helped. Will Ferrell’s classic “Blades of Glory” had recently come out, do I bought it. I laughed so much at that movie, and some weeks I’d watch it most nights. A house gets very quiet when it goes from three people and a couple of dogs to one lonely, sad guy. Watching that movie 3-4 times a week was the one thing that kept me sane. The same cheesy but reliable lines are a whole lot better than sound of an empty house.

I hope none of you ever experience this, or anything like it. Unfortunately, odds are that some of you will, either in divorce, a failed business, or both. If you do, look for something that will reliably make you laugh. A positive outlook is enough to pull you through a lot of crap, and nothing kick starts positive feelings better than laughing. 

I hope this helps any of you who are going through some rough times. If that’s you, just know: it gets a lot better. Give it time.